Anna looked at the two, and found she could not give an answer.

Terry was red in the face, and Anna could tell he was holding back tears, but it was almost as if he was trying to push the other young man away.

"You'll miss him eventually, Blake; you missed him before! And then you'll leave!" argued Terry. And I'd rather have the heartache now, than watch you leave when I physically can't let go anymore.

"so?" Blake glared at Terry, "Do you listen to yourself sometimes? You're not even giving this a chance, Ter. And, yes, imissed him then, TErry, but that was because I thought he was dead not because we weren't f*cking!" Blake took a deep breath, mentally willing himself to stay calm and not punch his almost-boyfriend, "Terry, please. I only did that whole pathetic traumatised clingy thing because I was stll hopelessly f*cked up and didn't know who else I could turn to. You of all people should understand. How did you feel when Elden ded, huh? Same f*cking deal, Terry."

Hurt flashed across Terry's face, and suddenly he reared up to his full height and snarled at Blake. "Don't you dare bring Elden into this! Don't you DARE! I never turned to ANYONE after he died. I HAD NO-ONE. How could you try to use him against me? I thought you were different!" Eyes flashing, face scarlet, fists clenched to restrain himself, Terry was terrifying.

Blake took a step backwards, feeling tears prick in his eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall. Not now.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? But you know what? I was scared. There, I admit it. You know what the court d-did to me, r-right? Because here's the thing about r-rape- it sucks, dude. Big time. Seven years, Terry. Do you have any concievable idea how much that f*cks a person up, pun not intended? Excuse me for not wanting to deal with that alone, yeah?"

F*ck, he was crying. Stronger than that his ass.

"Look, I know. It was selfish, and weak, and stupid beyond all reasonable belief, but if I hadn't, I probably wouldn't be alive right now. I needed something, Ter, or I wouldn't have made it, okay? And I clung to you because you made me feel, for the first time since I was fourteen, that I was actually worth more than that, okay? I'm sorry."

Silence prevailed for a moment as Terry watched the tears course down Blake's cheeks.

Suddenly, he reached forward and pulled the crying young man into his chest, hugging him tightly and pressing kisses into his hair. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry... I love you so much... I'm so sorry, please don't go, I love you, please don't leave me, please, I love you, I'm sorry..." Tears flowed down his own cheeks and his heart clenched and shattered as he felt the front of his shirt become damp with Blake's tears. "I'm so sorry... Please... I love you so, so much, please don't go, please, I love you, I love you, I'm sorry, I'm so f*cking sorry..."

Anna blinked. Terry never swore.